drudge blog

By RegoPark
Contributing Blogger

Think you really know Drudge - his bio, philosophy, and altogether M.O.? Take our “Socratic Question” quiz and see if you can separate the wheat from the chaff.

1. Which of these items have appeared on the Drudge Report?

A. The unshielded face of Michael Jackson’s current accuser
B. The physical description of President Bill Clinton’s penis
C. Al-Jazeera’s graphic 2003 video of murdered U.S. soldiers in Iraq
D. Monica Lewinsky’s resume
E. None - he made the conscious decision to hold all of these items back even though they were in his possession.

2. What is the source of the following document, written by Matt Drudge?

“To my only true friend Ms. thing, Vicky B, I leave a night in Paris, a bottle of Chaps cologne … And to everyone else who has helped and hindred [sic] me…I leave a penny for each days I’ve been here and cried here. A penny rich in worthless memories. For worthless memories is what I have endured.”

A. High school annual
B. Junior high school suicide note
C. Note to the executive producer of FOX News
D. Note to the manager of a club he got banned from
E. None - it’s totally fabricated.

3. Which is not one of Matt Drudge’s accomplishments?

A. Graduated from high school
B. Completed the requirements for a bar mitzvah
C. Rose up to manager of the CBS gift shop
D. Published a column
E. Published a book

4. Whom is Drudge addressing in the following quote?

“Babe, your spirit is everywhere. I had a picnic the other day at the Appletree Campground which sits right on top of the great San Andreas fault line. I was starring the 600-mile trouble maker right in the gut — wondering when and if the ground would burst. I saw your face in a wild-desert flower that was growing out of the crack in a fault-line. Your face reminded me that there is more to life than worrying about death.”

A. Julia Phillips, co-author of Drudge Manifesto and author of the Hollywood tell-all You’ll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again, who died in 2002
B. Barbara Olson, conservative commentator whose plane crashed into the World Trade Center
C. Babe Ruth, legendary baseball player
D. Babe the Pig, porcine movie character
E. Babe Didrickson, legendary female athlete

5. Whom is Matt addressing in the radio show rant below?

“If I sound a little bitter, it’s because I was lied to…That is the ‘No Spin Zone,’ sir. You lied to me. You lied to this audience…I cannot believe my eyes that you are going on [TV] and saying you’re a straight shooter night after night. It’s not fair. And you don’t apologize to me. And you don’t apologize to this audience….You made me look bad and you had newspapers writing that Drudge was making stuff up again and all this other nonsense. And then, of course, months later when it happens nobody really can remember what any of the details were, and, you know - yawn, yawn, yawn….So, as you climb up that pyramid scheme which is the American business system, sir, you’re not taking me with you. And I’m not gonna be a foot - a brick on your tower, sir, as you step up and over…”

A. Michael Savage
B. David Brock
C. Bill O’Reilly
D. Rush Limbaugh
E. Art Bell

6. Who does NOT currently have a link on the Drudge Report?

A. Sidney Blumenthal
B. Maureen Dowd
C. Bill O’Reilly
D. Village Voice
E. Free Republic

7. Who has described himself/herself as “Matt Drudge’s bitch”?

A. Camille Paglia
B. Andrew Sullivan
C. Andrew Breitbart
D. Lucianne Goldberg
E. Julia Phillips

8. Who said the following?

“Matt’s mind goes a thousand beats a second and then the next second there’s something else…I’m more linear. When I’m pursuing something I really want to get to the bottom of it and get all facets of it. Matt has moved on while I’m still on the first sentence.”

A. Diane Dimond of Court TV
B. Andy Rooney of CBS’ 60 Minutes
C. Ana Marie Cox of Wonkette
D. Bob Drudge of Refdesk
E. Christiane Amanpour of CNN

9. Which of these quotes as someone else NOT made in the mainstream media about Matt Drudge?

A. “Drudge, he’s the sexiest man alive. Drudge, he’s fabulous.”
B. “Matt Drudge is smoking crack on Washington Avenue right now…and the authorities should know.”
C. “I’d like to give him a journalistic beating, a legal beating, and a physical beating.”
D. “(To see him at the computer ) is like watching Chopin at the piano.”
E. “This guy has to have the best male lips in cyberspace.”

10. Which did Matt NOT say?

A. “I’m the blog to end all blogs.”
B. “I was a stutterer. I had a twitch inside all the time—a lot of raw energy. I was lonely…I still am.”
C. “…There’s no law against being a hypocrite a few times in your life. And this industry (the media) is built on hypocrisy!”
D. “How can I be gay when I’m dating a woman with boobs and rollers?”
E. “I don’t want the humiliation of having my words coming back to haunt me.”
F. “I wish Jimmy Carter were still president.”

Score….

1. D. Matt chose not to run the Al Jazeera videos, Clinton phallic description at all. Jackson’s accuser, at this writing, appears on today’s Drudge Report with the eyes blurred out.

2. A. The quote is from Takoma Park, Maryland’s Northwood High School mock Last Will and Testament a classmate unearthed for the benefit of the press.

3. B. Despite his frequent class-cutting, Matt did manage to get his high school sheepskin, albeit with a class ranking of 341 out of 360. Before writing Drudge Manifesto and selling a column to Wired and AOL, he worked his way up to CBS gift shop manager. However, despite several years of Hebrew school, Matt’s parents never got a return on their time and monetary investment…his grandparents never got to see the chain of tradition continue…and his classmates never got to watch a really cool nervous breakdown at the bimah.

4. D - Babe the Pig

5. C - Bill O’Reilly

6. E. Matt removed his link to the Free Republic a few years back when the wing nut factor got out of hand for awhile. But he added the Sidney Blumenthal link a year after Blumenthal dropped his $30 million lawsuit against him over an unsubstantiated spousal abuse rumor.

7. C. Andrew Breitbart, Matt’s one and only bitch/assistant, who updates the Drudge Report in his absence.

8. D. Bob Drudge of Refdesk, a.k.a. Matt’s father.

9. E. A is from Ann Coulter in the New York Observer. B is from the mouth of Bill O’Reilly. C is from Steve Dunleavy. D is from Lucianne Goldberg. E - from yours truly (i.e. not from someone in the mainstream media).

10. Come on, now, people! When would Matt EVER refer to himself as a blogger?

RegoPark is a writer who is currently working on a novel about PR and the alternative media.