drudge blog

By RegoPark
St. Petersburg, Russia Correspondent

I’ve always felt that part of the misunderstanding about Matt Drudge is a PR problem. He does his own. I hope so, anyway. If he is paying some publicist, that idiot needs to get canned right away.

It never ceases to amaze me how celebrities with the best defense attorneys are represented in the media by well-paid boneheads. There’s Russell Crowe’s hench-dork, who blamed the victim when Russell hurled a phone at a hotel concierge, stating that he “never touched” the guy (who required stitches). There’s Power Girl Lizzie Grubman, who lied on-camera to a press contact on her short-lived reality show (”Relationships are important,” she says). And this was the month of gushy Jacko spokeswoman Raymone Bain, who takes five minutes to disseminate 30 seconds of vague information. So it’s not so bad that Matt Drudge doesn’t have his own publicist. If you can shoot yourself in the foot, why hire a hit man?

“Okay, smartass,” you Drudge Blog/Drudge Forum readers out there may ask. “You’re always talk about PR and about Matt Drudge, what would you do if he hired you?”

Actually, he might do okay on his own…and having done all the research I have on him, I get the feeling he’d be a great friend but a pain to work for. So here’s my open PR advice for Matt Drudge:

Pay someone to give you tough love. Either hire a publicist or marry an intelligent person who’ll kick your tush. A PR professional is not your buddy; this is not a time to hire a friend of yours. Matt Drudge needs someone to muzzle him when his mouth gets diarrhea, make him calm down and think before posting an enemy’s home phone number on his website, and massage his back and neck before getting yet another stupid photo taken.

If you can’t pitch a story discreetly, outsource someone else.Repeatedly asking the New York Times “Why aren’t you writing about me?” is not a very good way to generate coverage. Neither is telling the Miami New Times that you did it.

Check your press coverage daily to weekly. This is actually something Matt does via Lexis-Nexis, but this also needs to be supplemented by Google searches and monitoring rogue sites like Drudge Retort. If I were Matt, I’d get an account on Drudge Forum under an assumed name and keep an eye on DrudgeBlog. I’m not just talking about badmouthing here. The Internet is a breeding ground for slander that can wreak havoc but not be traced to their source.

Screen interview requests. Matt’s recent online “Q&A” interview with Arizona Republic was a good idea for two reasons: he lacked time to choose his words carefully, and the raw interview footage prevented him from being taken out of context.

I would also advise Matt to really think twice about some of the appearances he has done. He tends to do really well on C-SPAN, where he is relaxed and fielding intelligent questions, but tends to make an ass of himself on Hannity & Colmes when he shifts into that “I’m a hot shot expert” mode. I would not have allowed him to grant an interview on a trivial topic like Chris Rock doing the Oscars. One advantage of a publicist is that he or she will screen out bogus interviewers. Ever watch Pat Buchanan, Andy Rooney or Sam Donaldson on HBO’s “Da Ali G Show”? Luckily for Matt, but unluckily for us, the comedian Sacha Baron Cohen never thought to set him up.

Make sure your clothes match. A fedora does not go with a tux. Nor does it go with a sports shirt. Or a “peasant chic” necklace. This is where that tush-kicking sidekick might come in handy.

Record every interview. Especially given the rash of gay questions Matt’s been getting. Drudge tends to look like a buffoon because his ‘tude and the ‘tude of his interviewers feed off one another. If the “interpretation of an interpretation” doesn’t make him look good in the press, he can always post the interview transcript or an audio upload on the Drudge Report. He can even scoop the story before its release if the journalist is really obnoxious. And if I were Matt, I’d never allow reporters into my home — they’ll read something into everything they see.

Finally, have a crisis communications plan. Oh, yeah, you might need that tushkicker for that, too. Basically it means being aware of any liability you carry — both skeletons in your closet and the potential for something going really, really wrong if a story turns out to be less than accurate. In this case, strap on a muzzle and call your publicist in the morning.

RegoPark is a pseudonym for a writer with a background in PR. She is currently on a writing fellowship in St. Petersburg, Russia.