By RegoPark
Contributing Web******er

I came home from a month’s vacation to find Lance mad at Drudge. He’s been kind of a bad boy, emulating all the negative aspects of citizen journalism, to the point where Lance broke down and called him a b*****r on DrudgeForum the other day. Now, I did defend Matt’s honor on a purely philosophical level, not that I have a problem with b****rs. In fact, both Lance and I are two of those. If you really want to know, I’m doing a little b***ing as I write this, so, you know, whatever Matt Drudge is or does is okay with me. Just don’t let’s use that dirty word he doesn’t like.

You’ll notice that recent and upcoming blog entries are giving Drudge a bit of a flailing. You only flog the ones you love, and Matt will feel our love all through the last hot weeks of summer as we examine the good, the bad, and the ugly ramifications of all things Drudge. Even that long (and long-promised) essay debunking ugly rumors about him won’t spare justifiable criticism… nor inspire an e-mailed marriage proposal from our favorite Internet muckraker.

There’s no pattern in this tide. Lance and I aren’t turning on the Drudge Report, just getting around to examining every nook and cranny of Drudge-related issues. This is DrudgeBlog.com…not DrudgeTushKissers.com…and Matt’s man enough to handle anything coming from us. Before we kiss and make nice with him, though, we need for him to step into the back room, unbuckle his belt, and put his hands against the wall nice and slow.

Don’t worry, Matt. This won’t hurt us a bit.